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So You Wanna be a Douchebag?
Insider Tips to the Art of Douchebaggery Part I I work in a place that attracts douchebags like water to a drain. Somebody has to. When you’re a douchebag, you either own it and drive a Corvette and...
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The Bar Crusaders
One of alcohol’s super powers, among many, is its ability to elevate a drunk person’s level of certainty. Over the years bars have become the prime venue for debating every idea, concept and theory...
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You Might be a Drunk if…
If you’ve been on the fence lately as to whether you’ve been drinking too much. See if any of these apply. You might be a drunk if… You take a shot of 151 and complain to the bartender that it isn’t...
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TheRealBarman Goes Fine Dining
I have always wondered if being raised under different circumstances would have shaped me into something more refined. You know, oil paintings and Persian rugs and a closet brimming with velvet? But...
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Fucking With Drunk People
I’m not sure why, but lately I’ve become more irritable about the fact that I spend five nights a week in a place where I’m sober and everyone else is flying high and yuckin’ it up. I understand that...
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Bartending Schools: The Real Truth From TheRealBarman
Check out my video on what I really think about bartending schools, and then read the article below that provides a survey in which I asked 47 bar owners and managers what they thought about bartending...
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Hey Bartender, Get a Life!
Just after I finished with college a terrible mistake was made and I was persuaded by my brother-in-law to attend an Amway meeting. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Amway, they are like the...
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My 10 Most Amazing Accomplishments in Life Thus Far
For reasons beyond my comprehension, at least once a week I encounter a patron at my bar who, with great empathy and pity, asks me why I am still bartending at my age. Because I’m not retarded (for...
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10 MUST-DO Tips for Getting a Bartending Job
I am asked often how to become a bartender. This is a simplified blueprint for getting a great bartending job. I go into much greater detail in the book, which includes exactly what to say and not to...
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What Should Your Pour Cost % Be?
I hear the same thing from owners and managers everywhere I go: “My pour cost percentage is fine. Why would I need your system?” Simple, sir (or madam)…because you are blind to what is going on behind...
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10 Reasons Bartenders Hate Managers
It is not secret that in order for a business to run smoothly the staff needs to work as a cohesive group, despite rank or status. Or maybe it is a secret, because it seems that I find more bars than...
View Article5 Reasons Bartenders Are Sexier Than Regular People
I don’t try to understand certain mysteries of the universe, such as: where do black holes lead to or why anyone would choose to listen to Jazz, and of course the one I’ve been considering lately,...
View ArticleBartender Theft Exposed: My Undercover Quest to Find an Honest Bartender
A year ago, I began an adventure, a crusade really, to find out exactly how bad bartender thievery had become. Even those of you not in the industry are aware on some level how it works, if for no...
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10 Steps Guaranteed to Land You a Bartending Job in 30 Days or Less
As a bar manager and a writer, I was asked constantly from people both young and old how they could break into bartending, which inspired me to write a book about it. Since the deadline in the book is...
View ArticleHow NOT to Order a Drink From the Bartender
The following discussion is an exchange I had with a guest years ago as a bartender. I have revived this conversation for anyone who is still not quite sure how capitalism or the transaction of money...
View ArticleThe Difference Between a Bartender & a Mixologist
Ever wondered what the difference is between a Bartender & a Mixologist? You might be surprised, in the latest bar rant from TheRealBarman....
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Look Ma, I’m in Cosmo
It’s true, apparently I’ve made it big time. No, I’m not one of the hot dudes with his shirt off giving smoky looks of lust. In fact, there is no picture of me at all (at least not yet), only my name....
View ArticleWhy Bartending Schools Don’t Work
In case you’re as dim as a 10-watt bulb, you are quite alert to the fact that I am anti-bartending school. I’ve been bartending and bar managing for 15 years now and I can’t quite describe my level of...
View ArticleSandi’s 7-Step Guide to Becoming a Great Server
As a recent graduate of Bowman’s Academy of Acting in the top 87% of my class, I decided to get a temporary job as a server with Dave at his dumb bar, but I am only working here until my talent agent...
View ArticleThe 19 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Heard People Say in My Bar
Over the past several months, I’ve been paying attention and writing down things I’ve overheard people say because they’re either wasted or just plain stupid. It’s difficult to discern in a bar. I was...
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